Bloody-Toothed Spring Barrette

I've read that products should solve a problem for the consumer, so here's the problem I propose to solve for you: you don't have enough teeth. Not enough teeth outside your mouth, not enough pale gums, not enough of an artful smearing of blood. And if you don't have enough teeth, how are the people around you supposed to know that you bite?

For the longer-haired among us, this spring barrette is the perfect solution: teeth on the back of your head, where even those who can't see your rictus grin --  not yet -- will know to stand back a little further lest you decide to gnaw on them with your extra set of molars. The pale gums have been adorned with a streak of bloody color and sealed with resin both to preserve the color and to make your barrette-mouth look perpetually saliva-streaked. Delightful.